With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.īut instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it. Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn't a dream at all-and quickly became her nightmare. But like Alice's journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion-including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years-quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion-and, finally, the secret truth about the man who holds the key-from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef's former #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next DoorĪ spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's #1 girlfriend.

Down the rabbit hole by holly madison